Is it just me?

....or is the fact that things just seem to *happen* around and to me enough to get me a bit angry.

I am not saying things are bad, on the contrary, almost everything is pretty great..great things happen and are happening on a daily basis, its just that I don't feel like I have much to do with them happening. They just do. I'm not complaining about that either. Its hard to explain. I just feel like I'm a floating piece of matter. A floating piece of matter that is somewhat important (as every other one is as well) but a floating one nonetheless.

I don't want to be a floater....I want to be actively moving, one that can go against the flow of things when it wants and is capable of effecting change because it can.

How do I explain this? I want to do things, not because they are probably the best option at the time....but just because I felt like doing, and I did. I want to make mistakes because, you know..they just happen, not because- I didn't know...or it wasn't entirely (or even partly) my fault... it was completely someone else's.

I think I'm just having a funny day, week, month, couple of months.

Oh and yeah, probably should say something about not writing for like....two months....hmmmm

I just didn't :P haha.xx