Is it just me?

....or is the fact that things just seem to *happen* around and to me enough to get me a bit angry.

I am not saying things are bad, on the contrary, almost everything is pretty great..great things happen and are happening on a daily basis, its just that I don't feel like I have much to do with them happening. They just do. I'm not complaining about that either. Its hard to explain. I just feel like I'm a floating piece of matter. A floating piece of matter that is somewhat important (as every other one is as well) but a floating one nonetheless.

I don't want to be a floater....I want to be actively moving, one that can go against the flow of things when it wants and is capable of effecting change because it can.

How do I explain this? I want to do things, not because they are probably the best option at the time....but just because I felt like doing, and I did. I want to make mistakes because, you know..they just happen, not because- I didn't know...or it wasn't entirely (or even partly) my fault... it was completely someone else's.

I think I'm just having a funny day, week, month, couple of months.

Oh and yeah, probably should say something about not writing for like....two months....hmmmm

I just didn't :P haha.xx

The world has changed...again.

"He had shared the magic of those medieval heroes who could not die until they had come to the end of their long story, until they had achieved their great victories"

-Mario puzo

Last night something changed, and it made me think about how a lot of other things have changed also in recent times. Michael Jackson passed away.

He was born a black boy, went on to be one of the greatest if not *the* greatest performer of our time. I have chosen not to google up any information on him, just to go with what I know about the man.
What I personally knew him as - which probably will be minute considering the fact that I was born in the very late 80's and was either not born or still too young to thoroughly enjoy the man at the time I feel he was at his "prime". There are many other people who had personal experiences (maybe not in person) but they did have the privilege of witnessing his prowess of entertaining...his singing, his dancing, his clothes, his ever-changing physical appearance, the crazy stories of the events of his life, his marriages, his pets (we can't forget dear Bubbles)...more recently, his children, the speculations on the circumstances under which they were conceived, the sometimes alarming extent to which he would protect them from public exposure(literally), oh....and the incident....the balcony incident....we remember that as well.

Well this isn't about his life, what went on with him, what he did or didn't do, not about what he looked like or what he was, its about what he meant and what he still means in our hearts and in those of future generations.

I do not believe that if our children in ten or twenty year's time see a picture of him will understand what it was like to hear his music. They will first of all be confused....you show them a picture or a video of ....Thriller, and then you show them a picture of him from his 2009 tour promo. They will find it hard to relate the handsome young man in the first video with the footage of a 50 year old man who looked very *interesting*. Many of our kids will be astonished when perhaps sometime in the teenage years or maybe even later that "Michael Jackson" was actually born black!

I can just imagine the conversation between to friends..."Kunbi" says to "Fifi"..."OMG can you believe that Michael Jackson was actually black?!?! Black?!" Fifi will be just as shocked, perhaps google his name and Biography maybe even dig up some old images of young Michael, they will share it on whatever IM platform they are using at the time....they will both take a second (or more to discuss and more importantly, to think about him), talk about the possible reasons for the drastic change in appearance, talk about their favourite songs of his, they might even share some and compare...one of them might choose to put up some picture of him as her profile picture on the future grandchild of Facebook or twitter, whatever.

Basically, his memory will be alive in us and in our children. We will remember him, they will think about him, imagine what it was like when he was around, ask us questions and I do not doubt they will buy his music, download it, watch his performances. They will keep him alive.

There isn't too much to say on the issue of the death of Michael Jackson, it is a sad event, another sad event in the world. But everyday people die of poverty, people starve to death, people die in wars, people are abused, some are alive with no life, they live lives "working" for others, with no pay, no rights, they are treated the way some of our pets definitely are not treated...their basic needs are not satisfied. They cannot do what they want, only what others force them to do, some people are slaves to others. I'm sure those people would happily trade places with Michael now.

He, like any other human being, had his set of troubles. Those people I refer to who live their lives with no life are not the only ones with problems...the only difference is other people have a particular set of problems, life as we know it comes with its ups and downs, the people I speak of , (I would imagine) do not know what an "up" would even feel like.

Michael is not the only one. Elvis, Fela, Bob, Kurt....I'm sure there are more. They all came and went. Gave what they had to give. Shared with us the gift of ther God-given talent. I'm sure no one out there can deny that each of these legends did in fact give us a gift. I can't think of any other word to use other than "gift". What else can I use to describe how it feels to listen or watch any of these people??

All we can do now is give thanks. To them and to God. They came, they blessed and they left. They were human beings too, they lived normal lives (to some extent) they were real people with real bodies, real talent, real problems....but we can't forget the blessings they got too. The love they felt from their fans, the political influence, the material riches, the legacy they have left, the lives they left their children and finally, their legacy, among a multitude of other things I cannot even begin to fathom.

Fame is not the point here, it is the legacy, the fact that images of them are burned into my mind and millions of other minds and this will not change, they will be familiar to people born now and those yet to be born.

It is a great loss...but we cannot dwell on the fact that he has died. He was a human being too, vulnerable and weak just like everbody else, the inevitable came. But he was different. That's why he is still alive in our minds and our hearts. So to the die-hard fans out there, do not be too sad, pray for his children, his family. They are the ones who knew him as a person, his strengths, his weaknesses, his ins and outs, they loved him as their brother, their father, their child.

It's life...what can we do? But move on and live ours. Remember those worth remembering and that should make them happy wherever they are. That's our gift to them.

Love.x

Continuation....

Its the nollywood in me, I just couldn't resist taking a break...stopping in the middle of what I was saying just to savour the moment....some people (ok one...no, two!!) are actually waiting for what I have to say :) A little bit of sadistic pleasure is always good for the soul *snigger*

Back to the topic...since I put up my last post, I've had a few very very odd questions. I use the word "odd" because they totally got me by surprise. There I was thinking people's minds would go in all directions, wondering what I was on about...only for me to discover their minds had not wandered very far and had stayed stuck with me and my reason for writing about guilt. "Have you done anything you are feeling guilty about?" "Why are you writing about guilt?"

Lol....its so funny when that happens. I am really bad at explaining myself....so basically, this is my answer NO. At this point, I'll just confess, there is something I am guilty of, I don't know if there is a "point" to what I'm saying....I just know that I have an idea and I'll go along with it..let's see where it goes ;O)

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"Does my bum look big in this?"

*GUILT* might seem a really random thing to want to talk about...but let me explain it the way I see guilt...

What is guilt??

Guilt to me is the feeling we get from the knowledge that something which shouldn't have, has come about....its the "bad" and rather unpleasant sensation we get when we genuinely regret something which has happened as a result of our actions basically. Thats the way I see it.

Well...we have to appreciate the fact that an "offense" to one person might be a normal thing for another to do. I mean if one person lies and feels bad about it, another might lie and feel like they have done something good. I'll give an example of one of the most common questions asked...by females and maybe even some males lol. "Do I look fat in this?" or even its junior sister- "Does my bum look big in this?" We all know we have asked this question (most of us) at some point or the other, and we have been on the receiving end of the question too....thats where most of the problem lies - at the receiving end of the question.

I wont go into the complexities of explaining to a person you are fond of that perhaps, their choice of outfit is not the most flattering choice they could have made. Its not an easy task, I tell you. SO most of the time, the answer is "of course not". This is not always the case however! Only a few times, the issue of whether to be honest and say "yes, your bum does look a bit large in that, please don't wear it" comes up, and I'm ashamed to say I have been guilty (a FEW times) of taking the easy way out and smiling and saying "of course not, it looks nice". This is only when the laregeness is not so glaring, and I can actually get away with telling that little white lie just to maintain peace and the feelings of the loved one in question.

The feeling afterward though, is what I am concerned about...the guilt. The feeling that I should have just told the truth and let the person know. But in my defence, and that of every other person who has been faced with this dilemma out there, the truth is that there is nothing to feel too bad about, the person who asked probably looked in the mirror, saw their looked a bit on the rotund side, and asked "does it look big in this?" when they really meant "I know my bum is big, but does it look so big that it will probably block out all rays of light for anyone who dares stand behind (or beside-in some severe cases) me?" and the simple, truthful answer to that would be "no. It doesn't look that big, it looks big , but it looks nice"...

Why, you ask, does this topic and even that of guilt have anything to do with us? Why would guilt be something we should think about.....well.....I'll leave that for you to find out in the next post :)

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You like what I did there don't you? *suspense* It's great lol....I hope you fall for my little ploy and do come back to find out why guilt is a major thing we should think about....so do come back. It will be great if you do. Love.x

Do I or don't I??

Now that my project has been done and dusted (no I don't know how I did in it yet people lol) and I've finished my exams (NO, I don't know how I did in those yet either!!) and all....I've been sitting around thinking, "I really need a hobby or something".
Well I have done for the past two days, and then I realised, I might as well continue with this :) It was actually so much fun while I was doing it, but the fact that I already had all the content written before I put it on the blog, made it a bit.....well, not really me. I initially wrote it for an article, but then I soon discovered getting an article published, even on the internet, is not always as easy as we think.
So that's how the idea of this blog came up, instead of getting my stuff on someone else's publication, I might as well have my own little one right here!
So yeah, I think I'm going to carry on with this hehe.....let's see how it goes.

And NO, I'm not going to turn this into one of the "self-obsessed" blogs I was talking about earlier, my family-friend (Toks) asked me about that and I did actually think a lot about the statement I made, but I don't take it back, I still think SOME people do use this platform (blogging) to self-promote, in a rather vain and sometimes even shallow way, but well...different strokes for different folks right? I admit, I AM judging them but that doesn't mean they might not be doing something good, they entertain and inspire people who read their blogs and that's what matters so yeah....good for them.

Hope I can do the same with this...so keep coming back and checking, let's see where this goes. x

Pinocchio Story

“Do you think I sacrificed real life for all the fame and flashing lights?
There is no Gucci, Louis Vuitton or Ice,
No clothes that I could buy that could release my mind from this jail
No vacations that I could fly
Or take me back to real life.

I ask you tonight
What does it feel like
To live a real life?

I just want to be a real boy
Pinocchio lied, that’s what kept him running,
I tell the truth and still I am running
I turn on the TV and see me
I turn on the TV and see nothing

What does it feel like
To be real?
Not some façade that no one can really feel

Do you really have the stamina
For everybody that sees you to ask
“Where is my camera?”
For everybody to say sign my autograph
For everybody that sees you crying to say
“Boy you ought to laugh”
I just want to be a real boy”

“Pinocchio story”- a free-style song performed by multi-million selling rapper - Kanye West in which he tells his live audience a story about himself, juxtaposing his life with that of Pinocchio, the wooden puppet whose nose grew longer every time he told a lie. During this performance, West cries in front of the audience as he tells the audience of how he feels his life is a lie, a life of emptiness and of no real substance.

After listening to this, I doubt this will really have a major impact on changing the opinions of the young minds who have decided to pursue the limelight, but it tells me that truly, “all that glitters is not gold”, and fame and fortune does not in any way guarantee happiness. Contrary to what many might believe nowadays, the desire to be famous is not a solid ambition, and although a formal education is by no means the only path an individual can go in life, neither is the search for stardom.

New Ambitions vs. Old Values

We often forget that celebrities are mere human beings like ourselves and before we know it, fall victim to this unquestioning, almost blind admiration. We idolise these *gods and goddesses* we have appointed from among us.

I say this because we (the adoring public) are the ones responsible for their fame, if they did not have us, there would be no them. Celebrities NEED fans to be famous.
Now, I do not mean to sound condescending or snooty as I have fallen victim to this love for celebrities many a time!


The blind admiration of fame without regard to the fact that celebrities are mere MORTAL beings like us and being famous in itself is not a positive attribute which speaks of the character of a person is what I am talking about.


The fact that anyone..and I mean anyone who stumbles upon 15 minutes of fame for whatever reason, can become rich and famous for the rest for their life (e.g. Jade Goody R.I.P) quite understandably translates to young people as *WHY study and work for the rest of your life to exist in a world of bills and mediocrity at best?*


When you could sign up for big brother or X-factor (the latter being a talent show, I know) not do extraordinarily well or show any talent (e.g. William Hung) and still become rich and famous


"Academic success" and other such phenomena are now deemed as almost unnecessary by most and most of those who still pursue an education secretly harbour dreams of “making it big” through some other means. But that makes me think....is it not allowed to have other dreams? Hmmmmm...confusing stuff.


Nowadays, it is commonplace to meet girls who are studying courses such as medicine at university but wish to become models when they graduate or boys who study law but cannot wait to finish university in order to pursue a career in professional football, although they are fully aware that these dreams are not particularly realistic as the two professions mentioned above have very early recruitment and retirement ages.


I do not feel comfortable with the thought that future generations will grow up in a world where the values I was taught are forgotten. Values such as , "you can’t buy love”,
“looks are not everything”, and “we are more than the sum of our achievements or failures” and lastly “all that glitters is NOT gold”.

The art of ~*escapism*~

Why do we do it to ourselves?




why do we follow the lives of celebs instead of living ours??




Well…I call it escapism. Escapism from the real world, escapism from looming exams and deadlines, escapism from pesky friends and loved ones, escapism from body issues, and even more general problems like economic distress and political instability. Who would rather spend their evenings following wars and bombings, economic recessions and illness and poverty when we could easily change the channel from the news to E! and enter the bubble gum-world of what’s hot and what's not? Who wants to face the grim reality of real life when we could easily be in a fantasy world where everything is perfect and if problems do exist, they are not ours to worry about?




When celebrities do have problems, they also make headlines, who can forget the legendary rivalry between Paris Hilton and her side-kick Nicole Richie? Who can forget the leaked sex-tape of Kim Kardashian and her then-lover Ray-J? Or the more recent brawl between pop-sensation Rihanna and her beau Chris Brown? These are negative headlines, but in-the long-term they serve to benefit the stars involved as there is no such thing as too much publicity in celeb-land.




This brings us to the point that celebrities whether famous for positive or negative reasons (or somewhere in the middle), for the fact that they are given large scale attention, inspire emulation. They are ingrained into the collective psyche and before we know it, the saying “what you can’t have, you want more of” comes true. We can’t have their lives but we want to see more of what they are getting up to. We want to know as much as we can so when we discuss them with our friends, we share gossip about them like we are speaking of our mutual friends. Then we begin to feel as though we know them personally. This is where things can get dangerous.




Its not hidden that there are people who have attacked and stalked celebrities because they are inflicted with conditions such as “celebrity worship syndrome”, an illness which means an individual becomes overly involved with the details of the personal life of a celebrity.

What is a celebrity?

We live in an age where an accurate definition of “celebrity” does not exist anymore. In times past, perhaps the possession of an outstanding talent or number of talents which clearly set one apart from others would qualify an individual to be called a “star”. Now, things are somewhat different.

On the topic of what attributes exactly constitute a celebrity nowadays, it is now obvious, the title is no longer restricted to the phenomenally talented, beautiful, or wealthy, now, it appears that as long as more than a certain number of people know who you are, where you have been “spotted” in recent times, who your friends and family are and what you like to do/wear, you can be called a celebrity by modern standards.

Come to think about it, if all this information about the lives of celebs was not put out there for us to hungrily gobble up, we would not know it. Our lives would not be spent following theirs. So I ask, who is behind it? Someone must pay for this large-scale exposure, and it surely can’t be them (celebs) as they are just people like us at the end of the day and are not very likely to be able to pay for it. Rather, it is the other way round, they are paid both in cash and in kind to be famous. Celebrities are paid millions as magazines jostle to have the rights to pictures of their weddings, their new-born babies, their homes and their parties. So who sponsors the publishing and broadcast corporations?

We all know that adverts are what support the running of most television channels, so in the case of celebrities, it’s the same. Those who need to advertise their commodities use the celebrities as platforms for advertisement, of which the most obvious benefactors are the fashion industry, the beauty and cosmetics industry, electronics industry and the motor industry among others. News of designers sending celebrities thousands-worth of free merchandise is commonplace, jewellers lend their most expensive pieces to celebs for well-covered events such as awards, celebs are given “goodie bags” overflowing with free products (and not cheap ones), electronics, beauty products, jewellery amongst others.

The red-carpet is no longer a place where stars are asked questions which the public want to know about their work and their lives, where journalists ask the questions their fans want to know the answers to. Instead, a celebrity is expected to answer questions centred on how they look that night, what designers are their favourites, who their stylists are and so on. Celebrities who do not know much about designers are impatiently moved along or ignored, if they give unsatisfactory answers, are mocked in the numerous post-awards “who wore what” articles.

These industries push the stars into our attention and keep them there, glamorizing their lives and creating a beautiful, carefree, youthful, affluent, interesting, sexually liberated (or quite the opposite in recent times e.g. the Jonas brothers), uninhibited image. In my opinion, it is human nature to envy anyone who seems more attractive, affluent and who has or seems to be achieving more than you. This could easily be a healthy ambition if all of these attributes where factors we could control. Or if fame were given on a basis of meritocracy, but as we all know, such is not always the case.

So how healthy is it for us to obsess over individuals who live lives they are lucky to have been given. Is it healthy to want what you have not necessarily ‘worked’ for? That is ‘work’ in the true sense of the word, not ‘work’ being to host a party and dance on a table all night in drug and alcohol-fuelled debauchery or to go shopping clutching a smoking cessation product for example, in full view of the press who are sure to be there.

Apart from showing us this seemingly perfect and fun image which we naturally want, another way we are drawn into the thick web of celebrity obsession is to create a blur between real-life and the fantasy world celebrities live in. The internet is the major agent of this rapidly blurring line as we easily spend hours on end following the lastest activities of our favourite celebs (whether we like to admit they are our favourites or not). There are pictures of them out and about, and my favourites-‘candids’ of them sometimes, without make-up! With the current popularity of blogs, celebrities have jumped on the bandwagon and offer us an insight into their lives and their opinions, always sure to drop a subtle hint here and there at what their favourite products at the moment are of course.

Farewell Jade

We are still smarting from the demise of Jade Goody, a “national treasure” who was lovingly called “the princess of Essex” by her fans. She was a 20 year old, who rose to fame in 2002, through the popular reality television show Big Brother. It was the 3^rd season of the reality show and she was the unknown dental nurse who amazed the British public just as much as she irritated them with her outstandingly low general knowledge of the UK. She famously said that she thought Cambridge was in London and East Anglia or “East angular” as she referred to it, was a country in Asia.

During her stint in the show, she became a favourite of the viewing public and lasted relatively long in the Big Brother house although she did not go on to win. However, what she did go on to do was to become the darling of the media with her own reality shows and perfume lines. Eventually, she returned to the source of her fame, perhaps to bolster her status as a celebrity in the aptly titled “celebrity Big Brother” 2007 edition. Her stint in the same house which catapulted her to fame was to bring her nothing but trouble this time around. After a series of vicious shouting matches and racially suggestive comments between herself and fellow housemate Indian actress Shilpa Shetty, she was evicted from the house and Channel 4 received complaints in the multiples of tens of thousands.

Following this incident, Jade’s image went on a downwards spiral, her autobiography and perfume were taken down from stores and some companies withdrew their advertisements from running during Big Brother as they wanted to publicly show they were not in support of the alleged racism on the show.

The love the public had for her was suddenly transformed into contempt and that lasted till 2008 when she went to India to appear in the Indian version of Big Brother, when the results of a medical test were announced on air and it was revealed by her doctor that she had advanced cervical cancer.

Another reality show began, where she was followed through her last few months on earth, showing her battle with cancer, her wedding to her on-off partner (which was broadcast to the public) and a few weeks later, she passed away, once again the darling of the British media, to be buried in a ceremony which will be televised.

Jade Goody is the perfect example of a star in the true sense of the word and what it means to be a star in today’s world. She had no notable talent; she was loved for being a “regular girl”, someone with a likeable character (at times). She represented a true British or more specifically, Essex girl who personified the “laddette” culture and lived a relatively normal life…apart from the fact that she had earned millions in her lifetime and her struggle with a terminal illness and death was watched by the public.

Purpose....

This blog has been created after a lot lot lot of consideration and time wasting, mainly because I was afraid, scared to fall into the abyss which is blogging ...

I did not want to get lost in "blogosphere", by that I mean, blend into the background and be just another blogger.

To me, there are different types of blogs/bloggers and I am saying this as an outsider looking in...there are some which revolve around the blogger, so much so that the blogger begins to appear self-obssessed and narcissistic, offering their candid views on anything and everything and sharing little anecdotes and pictures from their lives which they have innocently assumed we would be interested in. Unfortunately, such is not always the case. It is obvious why I am scared of being in this group, as I have many-a-time sat and chuckled at the expense of the poor sod who thinks I actually care what happened to them, what they did or what they wore today.

However, being scared was not a good enough reason for me not to do this...I am starting out nervous and tentative, but as with all things, this too shall run its course...as it does, I hope it does what its supposed to do, which is point out things we see on a daily basis and break them down, so we can look at them from different angles and think of them in ways which we would have not, had it not been for this outlet.

Lets see how it goes!