Monday 31 May 2010

....Times They Are a-Changing

Sometimes it just gets too much.. come on! I wonder how we all manage, I mean those of us who actually have real important things to do, not including time spent sitting on the computer and chatting rubbish like....mmm now but actual important stuff to do with studies, work, family and real-life generally.

Now, I find I have less time to sit around and be a bum, when did that happen?!!! I remember those endless days spent sitting and thinking about what I'd be like as a grown up, thinking about when I could go out without asking permission, now, sometimes all I want is for someone else to be in charge, so that if I'm late, or I mess up and forget to do something, or I do something and it doesn't go as planned, I can shrug and say it wasn't my fault. It wasn't me. She told me to do it.

Now if its not studying for an exam its writing an endless paper, if its not that then its endless errands and filling endless forms and interviews. Sigh. As I go on about this, the word "endless" keeps coming up and its funny... when I decided to visit my dear old notepad on the internet, I wanted to write about how time flies. Things sure seem long, till they come to an abrupt end, that is. No matter how slowly events unfold, how much warning we have, how many times we've been made aware and reminded that nothing lasts forever, things just go on forever --when they are actually happening. So much so, that we actually totally forget that noooooo condition, no matter how real and everlasting it seems at that moment is permanent. Whether good or bad, short or long....unnervingly brief or painfully drawn out, time (on the whole) is nothing but fleeting.

Its positively crazy, the way everything does come to an end, that's not just a tired cliche, not just some thing that you hear and should discard from all thoughts and contemplation. I know if I have this at the back of my mind all the time, a lot of things would be different. You know the difference between those people who have had a near-death experience and those of us- normal folk with no such experiences. We normal folk find it ever- sooooo easy to find faults in everything, get exasperated and say how bored we are, flare up over the most trivial of things, keep bitter malice for ages because we don't think twice about it.... and well, to be fair, there's no real reason to.... or so it seems.

On the other hand, those who (literally) have had the shock of their lives, and feel lucky to be here, have you ever seen how they walk down the road singing and doing a little jig to whatever they are listening to on their ipods, they will dance at any given opportunity, laugh like they are crazy over the most inappropriate jokes because they find them genuinely hilarious and can't be bothered to hold it in, they tell you without hesitation when you annoy them because they can't be bothered to harbour anything and burden their minds with that rubbish, they just appreciate and express more, and they do what they damn-well like.

I don't want the life-threatening experience ohhhhh, but Lord do I want the calmness and serenity that these people have, the self-acceptance and the mindfulness to do everything that needs to be done with a smile on my face, no time for whining or bitching because all that does is slow me down and break my focus. With age comes maturity, with maturity comes responsibility, the times they are a-changing and there's not a lot of it to waste, but there is a lot to be done, a lot we have to make happen while we are here, we might as well do them well....no time for time-wasting. Time-wasting and time-wating activities are the devillllll...ok I'll calm down and take a breather.

THAT IS ALL for now. Off to the shops, hope they haven't closed, bank holiday, I'm sure the lazy buggers will want to rush home, I've got to rush rush rush.



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